Bonnie,

 I can tell you from being who your husband is and was that you cannot do it WITHOUT outside help. Its hard to admit in the beginning that you need this help and you feel "labeled" as something that might seem to be something you dont like. I too had a strong faith in god and a strong love for my family but sex addiction is not something you can control , it controls you despite any faith or love you have . I had 2 children out of my sex addiction with someone other than my wife while I was doing what your husband is doing which is trying to do it myself. You cant and I had to hit rock bottom to find that out only to hurt my wife and family severely to almost a point of no return. The meetings help you realize your not alone with this problem and that there is hope through a higher power to eventually live with it. One of the first steps you learn is to admit your powerless over your addiction and if he cant see that yet then in time he will only fall again and much worse and like me ruin his family , his relationships, his relationship with God and to some degree worse. This is a progressive disease and it doesnt go away . If he wont get help then seek help at the SANON meetings as you need to be around others who have and are going through the same thing. You cant force someone to see this. Read the 12 steps to your husband and yourself , maybe that will help. I'll email you to see if I can help further. Our prayers are with you .

Frank M.

hello,

 My name is bonnie and my husband came clean about his addivtion the Friday after thanksgiving. He has been a sex addict for the past four years. He left me and the three kids at the time of disclosure to me and was gone for four weeks. During that time he has been seeing a sex therpyist about his addiction and i have been with him on two of the visit. I also am in counseling for my self and how to deal with is addiction. he call me on the evening of us going to a group meeting together and said that he need to talk to me and that he had made some decision. So, we did not go to the meeting and we had a three hour talk and it was good to hear what he had to say and also scary at the same time. He at this time came home that evening and we are trying to work on this together, but i have concerns because he has given up all out side help and he said that he can lick this addiction with the help of god and his family. I don't know what to think. We have been married for 28 years and I truly want our marriage to work. Is this something that he can do along with out outside help? I have alot of faith in prayer and he did at one time. i have so many mix feelings that i don't even know what to do at times. Does the meeting help or do them keep it fresh on your mind so that you can't move forward? (for me) Would like to hear back from others in my pain.

Bonnie